Captain's Log Entry "Fighting the Zombie Space Termite Horde"

Captain's Log Entry

  Being selected to search the far corners of space for The Marmite Collective, The Asswipe Collective, aka Termites, Termite Zombies, The Marmalade Brigade and mostly referred to as "teh Bad" is not an easy job.

  Once human themselves, The Marmites were an exploratory mining colony sent through a wormhole to obtain a new and rare ore hypothesized to exist. Equipped with a basic knowledge of combat and an extensive knowledge in mining and farming, they thrived for generations.

  They’re called Marmites because of their ability to survive on a genetically modified yeast extraction discovered in the planetary system they finally settled and known today as Uedama.

  Unfortunately, it was discovered that prolonged generational use of the Uedama Marmite yeast extract resulted in the erosion of human physical and mental capability leading to an irreversible terminal illness known as “Marmitism”.

  The first case of Marmitism is well documented. The mining colony leader Tora “teh bad” Bushido (aka Tora Bullshito and Tora "teh Termite") was found in his rest quarters face down with Uedama Marmite smeared all over his butthole. This smearing Marmite action has become a well known trait of the infected and determined to be one of the symptoms of Marmitism. Also, this is why they’re often referred to as The Asswipe Collective.

  Upon infection, the mining colony leader had no longer the vital or brain functions to be considered alive or capable of intelligible thought. He had become a Space Zombie Termite reanimated and autonomous yet no longer human. It’s only tendency and purpose while reanimated is to smear Marmite on others while spewing the deadly extract in a motion as if to be attempting communication.

  Although my crew and our allies have killed more than 30% of the Uedama colony and destroyed in excess of 50 billion isk in assets, the Termite Zombie Horde have begun raiding nearby peaceful New Eden systems thus infecting more humans. The incidence of infection is slowing, but the task is still daunting as it’s more about time than numbers. We must eradicate these Marmites before they infect even one more human.

  I've requested the Security Council send more humans to combat these spewing Zombie yeast extractions.

  We begin the process of mass Marmite eradication within 24 hours of this transmission. If you receive this message, please consider joining in fighting the Zombie Space Termite Horde and enjoy the satisfaction of protecting the human race for the coming generations.

“No Human is Safe until Marmite is Disbanded”